Have you ever had this thought?
That women who do not ask for what they want, do not get their needs met? They get taken advantage of because they have no set standards, so they will adjust their morals to please just about anyone… This is a dangerous attitude to have for many reasons. The main reasons are that:
- They are lost & confused in their identity, affecting every area of their lives
- They become magnets to predators who look for these women are lost, simply because they are so easy to control and manipulate that they become easy prey. This is also a result of the 1st reason, being lost in your identity. When you don’t know who you are, what your morals & values are, you will change them to try just about anything that feels good at the moment. But in the long-term, these are things that lead to destruction of your self.
And this goes for anybody, not just women. There’s people who have such a difficult time with this concept of asking, or even KNOWING what they want in the first place! They don’t ask because they either genuinely do not even know what they want (identity), or have a deeply held belief that what they want doesn’t even matter. This is simply false!
I’m not saying we need to have everything all figured out 100% of the time, but as women we need to have solid standards, or else any cute, hot, athletic, funny, rich (take your pick) guy who is an absolute jerk will come along, and if he has no standards or morals, it’s easy to fall for them and do things we really shouldn’t be doing, compromising ourselves and doing major damage to our sense of self- worth. It is a downhill spiral that many women, tragically, do not get out of.
It’s very sad, but it has to do with how we’re raised. Women’s and girls opinions are so often undermined and overlooked that some of them have actually internalized this attitude into their own thinking. But we women, are very special to God! God gave us a voice and He didn’t make us to live this way.
I have to say, that Christian communities are the first to allow abuse to run rampant. There is MUCH work to be done in this area, because there is all kinds of abuse that happens in Christians families, and women and children suffer in silence. This is the truth and it shouldn’t be. And believe me I know because I grew up in a Christian home. In a Christian community. There were so many men who used the Bible as an excuse to display chauvinistic and unloving, even abusive, attitudes toward their wives & girlfriends, when actually the Bible says men should love their wives just as Christ loved the church. What they did was the opposite of the Bible! I see it to this very day, I would say it’s actually gotten even worse now!
Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Women who aren’t taught to express themselves, or that their emotions are valid and should be respected, often grow up not respecting their own emotions or needs. They become confused, and become targets to predators because they can be so easily manipulated. Their behavior is like blood to sharks, it is a tell-tale sign that she is a woman with poor sense of self- worth, it attracts them and they become their easy prey. Predators only go for this kind of prey, they would never ever be attracted to a woman who has a voice and will stand up for herself, because his psychological abuse and manipulations would simply never work on her!!
It’s up to us women (and the good men on this earth), to make a change for the better. We need to stop dating these men who mistreat us, even if they SAY they are Christian. We need to stop the habit of undermining our own feelings, and start recognizing that we are WORTHY in the eyes of the Lord, and nobody has the right to treat us in a bad way or to say that our feelings and needs are not valid.
As women, we need to teach both our boys and girls about respecting people and their emotions. We need to teach them that THEIR emotions are valid as well. That’s not to say you let your kids do whatever lol, but you get my point. If we want to change the Christian community for the better, if really are the light of the world, we need to PUT THE LIGHT in the dark world of abuse in Christian families and communities. We need to talk about, address it. Empower women and children, instead of trying to silence them and blame them.
Ultimately, God is the judge. He will judge our actions on this earth, and every single one of these people who abuses another, will be held accountable for their actions. That is a promise we can lean on and have hope upon. God’s perfect justice. In the meantime, let’s stand up for ourselves, love ourselves. Recognize that we are WORTHY in the eyes of the Lord ❤
Have a blessed day! 💖 Xoxo