Where’s the Love?! 🤔❤ (Part 1: Dating, Relationships, & Self- Esteem!) 🤷🏻‍♀️💖

Hey guys!

Last week, I posted on my IG that I would be writing a blog post about love. And this is it LOL. I could basically write a book on love because there is a lot that the Bible has to say about it.

God is love… We’ve all heard this verse I am sure…

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

— 1 John 4:8 NIV

Obviously, the Bible says a lot about love, & in the next few weeks I’m going to look more into this topic! I really am in love with…. love! Lol. Today, I am focusing on modern relationships & what the Bible says about it. I’m going to Ephesians 5:21- 33, where Paul is talking about how we need to treat each other within relationships. I strongly suggest you read the entire chapter 5, you will love it! 🙂

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Submitting… That one word makes everyone cringe nowadays lol. Nobody wants to do it! But they want the other to do it! LOL. These verses have SO MUCH to teach us about relationships! At least it taught me lol. 😂 So not only are we supposed to have Christ as the center of our relationships, but these relationships need to reflect that of Christ and the church, submitting to ONE ANOTHER. 😀 Many men are so quick to say that women are supposed to submit to them, lol, but then they turn around and treat them in unkind and unloving ways. They disrespect them, yell at them, and even emotionally or physically abuse them. I am talking about supposedly Christian men here. (Lord deliver me from these types of men!!!!) And there are women who want to be the head of the household, they want to control everything, and routinely disrespect and put down their partners. (Lord, don’t let me become this!!! Lol) Both of these things are out of God’s order… it clearly states that each person must submit to one another. You have to love and respect one another!

The husband is the head of the household, but that is not a pass for abuse. He must show the kind of sacrificial love that Christ showed for us. Wow! That is quite amazing. If I think about choosing the men I date according to THESE standards, and me behaving this way as well, things would have an order that I can honestly say none of my past relationships have ever had. God’s perfect order! This is my guide :)💯✔

Relationships are complicated lol. And now more than ever it seems. Modern society is presenting an even bigger threat for the family unit, therefore since the family unit begins with love and with one man and one woman loving one another, in an agape, sacrificial way, with Christ as the center, the enemy is really trying his very best to destroy that. Relationships between men and women are most definitely under attack. It is God’s order, it is His creation, so the enemy absolutely hates it of course! And I know nowadays a lot people are very quick to blame this on “feminism,” but I don’t believe this at all. Women having the right to vote, drive, and being appreciated and loved, is hardly to blame. There is nothing wrong with women doing any of these things. The problem is that people, both men and women, nowadays have a tendency to practice “self- love” ABOVE all else. They’ve become their own idols! Sounds crazy right!? Well, it is written in the Bible that this would happen!

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. — 2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV

Jesus also said in Matthew 24:12-13 (NIV) the following: 

12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

All I can say is… WOW! My mind is blown because this is exactly what we are seeing! Have you noticed this? You can and should love yourself of course, after all, God loves us and we are His. But as Christians we need to remember this:

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40 NIV

So God must always be FIRST in our lives! The problem is, we’ve actually taken the idea of loving ourselves to a whole other level, and have erased God from the equation completely and put OURSELVES up there! Oh no! So everything is out of order. What a mess. Then we wonder, what is wrong?! 

Commandment #2 is the kind of “sacrificial” love spoken about in the above verses from Ephesians. However, our society as a whole teaches us to be self- seeking instead of God- seeking. They teach us to completely forget the needs of others (this includes our family or spouses!) and just to satisfy ourselves. This message is completely against the Bible, yet it is fed to us constantly. People who are lovers of themselves get highly rewarded in this society. Have you noticed that? They get put on a pedestal by others who are also lovers of themselves. But they are always broken inside, their families are broken, and their lives are a MESS. I understand that a lot of people deal with self- esteem issues. I did as well. But I have to say, nothing ever worked for me to heal my self- esteem, until I came to Jesus. He is the ultimate self- esteem healer! I could’ve gone to a million spa self- pampering sessions, but I still would’ve left the same broken, depressed, anxious girl I was had I not found Jesus! 💖🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe it’s just me, but that saying to “love yourself first before you find a relationship” always made me feel like I was never going to find love because I am so flawed! How in the world could I possibly really love myself? I didn’t know where to begin. I used makeup, clothes, etc… but nothing worked. My ego was just so incredibly FRAIL inside. But guess what? All we have to do is love God & follow Him! The rest will take care of itself! I now understand my real worth more without even trying, because I know what I’m worth to God!!

More and more, I am understanding that the reason why I’m single, is because God is preparing me. ❤ He’s showing me that in order for me to have a successful marriage one day, I don’t have to be this perfect person. I just need to LOVE HIM. I just need to put HIM FIRST. He’s showing me that I will need to love my husband the way the Bible says, submit to him and respect him ( I know that sounds appalling to today’s modern woman, I KNOW. But this is God’s order and actually God’s plan is not designed to demean us as women in any way, but actually to help us because He’s our creator!). He’s showing me little by little what that looks like, as I had been selfish and self- seeking in the past, and have had to forget the erroneous patterns that this culture has taught me, and learn a new & correct way of looking at things. 😍🌟

He’s showing me that I deserve to be respected and deeply loved. But that’s also not a pass to disrespect. He’s teaching me that my husband is not going to be perfect either so I will have to be patient and forgive, and he will be this way with me! Mostly He’s showing me that as a woman, I am special and I have value! He created me that way! Not because of my body or my looks, my job, or my education and accomplishments like the world says, but because I am a daughter of the Most High God! Isn’t that simply amazing?! I’m not knocking any of those things because I believe everyone should pursue goals in life and get trained, educated, take care of yourself, etc. But I used to let those things define me. And God says, we are so much MORE that those things…  💖

God is also showing me that I need to give up trying to take control over my dating life, and just give it all to Him! I don’t have to stress or chase down dates for myself. The current dating scene may be horrible, the hearts are growing cold & the odds seem bleak, but I can’t focus on that. I just need to focus on God. He will be the one to provide that person,  He will work the miracle, I just need to be obedient. I used to think that because I can cook (somewhat lol) and have certain other attributes, that I am ready for marriage lol. But God looks at other things because He has a plan..When I get married, I want it to be forever. And I know for a fact, the only way this will happen is if I make God first in my life, and have Him as the center of my marriage and entire life. ❤❤

Thank you so much for reading this! I know this was super long, I tried to make it shorter but somehow it only got longer LOL. 😂 Next week, I will be posting more about love, God willing. Stay tuned!!! Hope you enjoyed this and are having a blessed week! Xoxo 💖😇