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Where’s the Love?! Part 3: Serving & Being Equally Yoked! ❤🍳

20180706_215259_0001Hello! I hope you guys are having an awesome 4th of July weekend/ week! It’s so weird that this week the holiday is right in the middle of the week, but really cool I must say!!!

It was my niece’s birthday last week, & we celebrated to the full, as we always do in my family lol. We love celebrating birthdays & especially when it’s for one of the kids! She was spending that day at camp, then we were picking her up & going to take her to eat!

Earlier that day, I found out she was the “hopper” for the day at summer camp (one of my friends is a teacher there and she texted me lol). She was basically one of the kid waiters in the lunchroom. On her birthday. This made me think… had this been an adult, I think most people would’ve been sad and maybe even offended by this fact. But, not kids. She spent part of her birthday at camp SERVING other people. Serving her peers. And she was happy as can be to do it!! To her, it was an honor! The world wants us to think that serving is beneath us. That it is not worth your time and that people who serve, are “less than”, and that we deserve to be served all of the time. But this could not be farther from the truth:

Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

–Matthew 20: 26- 28 NIV

We’re so busy nowadays taking care of #1, that we forget as Christians, we’re called to serve. Yes there need to be clear boundaries (I am huge on personal boundaries), & yes it’s good to take care of yourself because if you don’t, you cant help others either. But everything has a balance in life. It can’t always be all about us. We have to take time to help the people around us, because these are opportunities the Lord is giving us to serve. Chances for us to be a blessing to others in need & in turn, we will be blessed by the Father. We are always so busy, or looking at our phones, making sure we’re all caught up in social media. But we have to stop that bad habit & be more “in the moment.” Sorry to sound so terribly cheesy lol. We can’t notice what’s in front of us, the blessings and opportunities, if our mind is constantly somewhere else. I have to say, this used to happen to me a lot. Rather, I used to do this a lot lol. It was a huge source of my past unhappiness. The enemy wanted to keep my mind either stuck in the past, or constantly dreaming of the future without taking any real action. Constantly distracted by random things, and never focused on what really matters. Never living & enjoying the present moment & appreciating the blessing. When we ask God to remove the blinders the enemy has placed, in Jesus’ name, we can then take an active part in our lives & we can help others.

So you might be wondering what serving has to do with being equally yoked? Lol. Well, let me try to explain the concept of being “equally yoked” first. It has nothing to do with egg yolks like I used to think in high school (not equally YOLKED, equally yoked) 🤣😂🍳🤣 LOL. 

This term is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14, and it actually applies to basically every relationship in your life, not just marriage:

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what [a]fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what [b]communion has light with darkness? — 2 Corinthians 6:14

I don’t know where I heard this, but it’s a great analogy. They explained being equally yoked like 2 oxen working on a farm, they are yoked together. Yoked meaning they are bound together, working. I am sure you’ve seen a picture of this of farms from the olden days lol. This is a scene that was very common in Puerto Rico where I am from! Anyways, so if you have 2 strong oxen, you will get a lot done! They keep up with each other & will go even farther together. But if you have 1 strong ox & one weak ox, the weak ox will bring down the strong ox, because the strong ox is carrying the weight of the weak ox. The weak ox is literally dragging down the strong ox. So it will slow down the strong ox’s progress, or even stop it from moving forward completely. So that’s what it means to be equally (2 strong oxen), vs. unequally (1 weak and 1 strong ox) yoked.

So when you’re married (when we single peeps get married lol), you’re working together for the Lord. You’re bound together by marriage (yoked), working for the Lord. You’re serving the Lord. That’s what marriage should be for us Christians. We belong to Christ, and we take care of each other, not just physically but spiritually as well. We want to make sure our partner is growing in Christ right?! So if you’re not equally yoked, you won’t be able to serve the Lord as well as you would if you were, if at all. It means you are putting in danger your personal relationship with the Lord. People who are unequally yoked, often stop serving. Because if I pick a spouse who loves the world, he probably would not be happy about me serving the church. He might be even embarrassed by it, as people of the world often are, and will probably discourage me from having a relationship with God, instead of encouraging it. So they become ineffective because they’re not thriving, they’re merely trying to survive themselves. They’re being weighed down by the “weak” ox. That is the result of being unequally yoked. Now, this does not mean that one day the spouse who doesn’t believe won’t come to Jesus and start serving. That happens. But there is just no guarantee. The Bible warns against being unequally yoked, for a good reason!! Being unequally yoked puts our relationship with God at risk, and our effectiveness as Christians and our ability to help others in the Kingdom. Like I said in my last post, we cannot give to others what we ourselves, do not have. So if our relationship with God is suffering, our service for God will suffer as a result as well. 

I am not married. I say this, as a “warning” for other single people, to just follow the Bible and look for a person who also loves the Lord & shows it in their behavior and their lifestyle (this is not for people who are already married, that’s a different scenario). As singles, we should look for someone who is committed to the Lord, committed to serving and growing in Him. Also, if you’re looking for that type of person, we also need to BE this way too, because if we’re not, then that also would not make much sense lol. 

Serving others is an essential part of loving others, which is why I decided to write about it as the last part of my love series. I believe if you are led by the Holy Spirit, you will just be naturally called to serve in certain areas. God will place you there. You don’t have to force it and you won’t feel like you hate it lol. I used to think that was serving, but it is not. You should want to do it, with love and joy in your heart. God knows our talents and he places us where He can use them. I personally feel like I’m still trying to figure out in some way, where I should serve in my church. I help with events and such (as part of the women’s ministry), but there is no “adult singles” ministry so for people like me, it can be hard to figure out. For anyone, actually. For right now, I just look for when they call people to help, & volunteer. It may seem like what you do is small sometimes, but trust me, it is not in the eyes of the Lord. Even the smallest thing, when done in His love, can make the biggest impact. Our work for the Lord is never in vain. We should follow the leading of the Holy Spirit when it’s telling us to help in a certain area of ministry or in a certain moment. Even the smallest things, when done in His love, can have the biggest impact.   

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10

Lastly, let’s not forget, serving the Lord is a way to show our love for Him and worship Him too! So when we do His work, from the heart, and live our life in obedience to His word, submitted to His will and not our own, we are showing God that we love Him!

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. — Romans 12:1

I love writing these blog posts, because I always feel like God ministers to me through them. I always learn a lesson. I hope this has been a blessing for you too. God bless you, I hope you enjoyed my love series! Have a fantastic weekend!! Xoxo 💖💖

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Where’s the Love?! 🤔❤ (Part 1: Dating, Relationships, & Self- Esteem!) 🤷🏻‍♀️💖

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Hey guys!

Last week, I posted on my IG that I would be writing a blog post about love. And this is it LOL. I could basically write a book on love because there is a lot that the Bible has to say about it.

God is love… We’ve all heard this verse I am sure…

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

— 1 John 4:8 NIV

Obviously, the Bible says a lot about love, & in the next few weeks I’m going to look more into this topic! I really am in love with…. love! Lol. Today, I am focusing on modern relationships & what the Bible says about it. I’m going to Ephesians 5:21- 33, where Paul is talking about how we need to treat each other within relationships. I strongly suggest you read the entire chapter 5, you will love it! 🙂

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Submitting… That one word makes everyone cringe nowadays lol. Nobody wants to do it! But they want the other to do it! LOL. These verses have SO MUCH to teach us about relationships! At least it taught me lol. 😂 So not only are we supposed to have Christ as the center of our relationships, but these relationships need to reflect that of Christ and the church, submitting to ONE ANOTHER. 😀 Many men are so quick to say that women are supposed to submit to them, lol, but then they turn around and treat them in unkind and unloving ways. They disrespect them, yell at them, and even emotionally or physically abuse them. I am talking about supposedly Christian men here. (Lord deliver me from these types of men!!!!) And there are women who want to be the head of the household, they want to control everything, and routinely disrespect and put down their partners. (Lord, don’t let me become this!!! Lol) Both of these things are out of God’s order… it clearly states that each person must submit to one another. You have to love and respect one another!

The husband is the head of the household, but that is not a pass for abuse. He must show the kind of sacrificial love that Christ showed for us. Wow! That is quite amazing. If I think about choosing the men I date according to THESE standards, and me behaving this way as well, things would have an order that I can honestly say none of my past relationships have ever had. God’s perfect order! This is my guide :)💯✔

Relationships are complicated lol. And now more than ever it seems. Modern society is presenting an even bigger threat for the family unit, therefore since the family unit begins with love and with one man and one woman loving one another, in an agape, sacrificial way, with Christ as the center, the enemy is really trying his very best to destroy that. Relationships between men and women are most definitely under attack. It is God’s order, it is His creation, so the enemy absolutely hates it of course! And I know nowadays a lot people are very quick to blame this on “feminism,” but I don’t believe this at all. Women having the right to vote, drive, and being appreciated and loved, is hardly to blame. There is nothing wrong with women doing any of these things. The problem is that people, both men and women, nowadays have a tendency to practice “self- love” ABOVE all else. They’ve become their own idols! Sounds crazy right!? Well, it is written in the Bible that this would happen!

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. — 2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV

Jesus also said in Matthew 24:12-13 (NIV) the following: 

12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

All I can say is… WOW! My mind is blown because this is exactly what we are seeing! Have you noticed this? You can and should love yourself of course, after all, God loves us and we are His. But as Christians we need to remember this:

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40 NIV

So God must always be FIRST in our lives! The problem is, we’ve actually taken the idea of loving ourselves to a whole other level, and have erased God from the equation completely and put OURSELVES up there! Oh no! So everything is out of order. What a mess. Then we wonder, what is wrong?! 

Commandment #2 is the kind of “sacrificial” love spoken about in the above verses from Ephesians. However, our society as a whole teaches us to be self- seeking instead of God- seeking. They teach us to completely forget the needs of others (this includes our family or spouses!) and just to satisfy ourselves. This message is completely against the Bible, yet it is fed to us constantly. People who are lovers of themselves get highly rewarded in this society. Have you noticed that? They get put on a pedestal by others who are also lovers of themselves. But they are always broken inside, their families are broken, and their lives are a MESS. I understand that a lot of people deal with self- esteem issues. I did as well. But I have to say, nothing ever worked for me to heal my self- esteem, until I came to Jesus. He is the ultimate self- esteem healer! I could’ve gone to a million spa self- pampering sessions, but I still would’ve left the same broken, depressed, anxious girl I was had I not found Jesus! 💖🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe it’s just me, but that saying to “love yourself first before you find a relationship” always made me feel like I was never going to find love because I am so flawed! How in the world could I possibly really love myself? I didn’t know where to begin. I used makeup, clothes, etc… but nothing worked. My ego was just so incredibly FRAIL inside. But guess what? All we have to do is love God & follow Him! The rest will take care of itself! I now understand my real worth more without even trying, because I know what I’m worth to God!!

More and more, I am understanding that the reason why I’m single, is because God is preparing me. ❤ He’s showing me that in order for me to have a successful marriage one day, I don’t have to be this perfect person. I just need to LOVE HIM. I just need to put HIM FIRST. He’s showing me that I will need to love my husband the way the Bible says, submit to him and respect him ( I know that sounds appalling to today’s modern woman, I KNOW. But this is God’s order and actually God’s plan is not designed to demean us as women in any way, but actually to help us because He’s our creator!). He’s showing me little by little what that looks like, as I had been selfish and self- seeking in the past, and have had to forget the erroneous patterns that this culture has taught me, and learn a new & correct way of looking at things. 😍🌟

He’s showing me that I deserve to be respected and deeply loved. But that’s also not a pass to disrespect. He’s teaching me that my husband is not going to be perfect either so I will have to be patient and forgive, and he will be this way with me! Mostly He’s showing me that as a woman, I am special and I have value! He created me that way! Not because of my body or my looks, my job, or my education and accomplishments like the world says, but because I am a daughter of the Most High God! Isn’t that simply amazing?! I’m not knocking any of those things because I believe everyone should pursue goals in life and get trained, educated, take care of yourself, etc. But I used to let those things define me. And God says, we are so much MORE that those things…  💖

God is also showing me that I need to give up trying to take control over my dating life, and just give it all to Him! I don’t have to stress or chase down dates for myself. The current dating scene may be horrible, the hearts are growing cold & the odds seem bleak, but I can’t focus on that. I just need to focus on God. He will be the one to provide that person,  He will work the miracle, I just need to be obedient. I used to think that because I can cook (somewhat lol) and have certain other attributes, that I am ready for marriage lol. But God looks at other things because He has a plan..When I get married, I want it to be forever. And I know for a fact, the only way this will happen is if I make God first in my life, and have Him as the center of my marriage and entire life. ❤❤

Thank you so much for reading this! I know this was super long, I tried to make it shorter but somehow it only got longer LOL. 😂 Next week, I will be posting more about love, God willing. Stay tuned!!! Hope you enjoyed this and are having a blessed week! Xoxo 💖😇

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Top 10 signs he’s not into you- A Christian girl’s guide ❤

PicsArt_03-08-01.00.38Harsh reality in life. Sometimes, some people will not be interested in us romantically. I strongly believe, if a guy isn’t into you, it’s best to save yourself the emotional turmoil & pain, and just move on. Find someone with whom you have a real connection, and who reciprocates those feelings as well. It feels amazing when you’ve found someone that you click with, but we cannot force these things to happen. I wrote a little bit before about creating boundaries/ standards in dating, & in life in general, based on God & His word (you can find these blog posts here & here). 😉❤

So today, I wanted to share with you 10 signs he’s just “not that into you.” These are just 10 signs he’s not treating you properly because he doesn’t care about you all that much. Keep in mind, when men behave this way, treating us poorly, it is just a reflection of their own low sense of self- worth. Try to learn from experiences, but don’t take rejections too personally or take it to heart because at the end of the day, that person was simply not who God intended for you.

BTW, I first heard this term from the book “He’s just not that into you” by Greg Bernhart. It’s a dating classic and I believe this book started it ALL. As some of you know (or maybe not LOL), I love reading, and anything about God like devotionals, psychology, self- development, and dating is my jam lol. Right now I’m into Matthew Hussey because he’s a dating coach plus he’s BIG on self- development and simply living a life that is, well lived basically! We all have our definitions of that but I like how he just gives you a blueprint sort of. He knows A LOT about human behavior and emotions. If you want to get better at understanding people, I suggest watching some of his life videos. Even his dating videos offer a ton of great advice that can be applied to any life situation. 😀

Anyways lol, these tips I came up with are just things that I’ve either experienced myself, or that I’ve read & heard about other women experiencing, & thought I’d include them. Some of them might seem obvious, but trust me, I know some people lower their standards for a person they like. I’m not judging bc I know feelings cloud our judgement, but I use these as a guide to “override” my feelings & make good decisions. No matter how I feel about the guy, if these behaviors appear, I move on. So these signs are red flags that a guy isn’t treating you the right way or taking you as seriously as he should. And of course, this is just my opinion, I’m not an expert or anything! These are just things I’ve noticed 🙂 I know some are a little simplistic, but I hope they’re somehow helpful. 💖

10 Signs he’s “not that into you:”

  1. He’s rude to you, mean, disrespectful, lies to you, or is even angry or aggressive
  2. He doesn’t put his best foot forward for you-None or little effort
  3. He is inconsistent, flaky, or ghosts you (or worse, dumps you!!), & if he sends mixed signals or breadcrumbs you
  4. He forgets important things about you
  5. He stays distant from you, physically and emotionally. Keeps you at “arms length.”
  6. There’s no progress happening in the relationship.
  7. He never or rarely initiates. You do all the work.
  8. He criticizes you, important aspects of your personality & your life.
  9. He has a wandering eye, flirts with other women online or real life, or even cheats on you.
  10. He doesn’t respect or value your God- based boundaries or standards. 

You can’t make people like you or fall in love with you. If a guy isn’t sharing your values, or SAYS he does, then in his actions he is clearly disrespecting them, you cannot change that about him. Having different values is a recipe for disaster & heartbreak. 💔😭

14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

— 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV

Furthermore, if you have a pattern of falling for people who treat you poorly, are emotionally unavailable, or have different values, you need to ask yourself why. Ask the Lord to help you overcome this unhealthy habit. Seek a counselor. Learn to be aware of signs when a man is unavailable, so you can avoid them.

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. — 2 Timothy 2:22

Lastly, stop giving men chances who simply do not deserve it, who do not meet your standards or try to disrespect your boundaries, just because you think he’s so cute or funny, or you have a connection, or his hair is cool, whatever! Just, no. LOL. We’re better than this! We can teach men how to treat us right by our own actions and what we choose to accept. Even self- proclaimed Christian men try to pull this all of the time, so it’s up to us to filter these men out of our lives so we can live a happy and drama- free life, and find a truly fulfilling relationship! Not only that, but most importantly, we need to remain in obedience to God. Do not compromise your God- based standards, & risk losing your salvation for a guy! Putting a guy before your obedience to God’s word is not pleasing to God, because God needs to be in first place in our lives. If it’s in God’s plan, the right person is out there. And that guy will not push you to separate from God or be disobedient to Him, but he will push you to be closer. You will push each other. 

Remember we need to be willing to let go of the things of the world, including toxic relationships, e.g. the players, emotionally unavailable men, etc. Important note- Not every man who says he is a Christian will act like one. Any guy who truly has a relationship with Christ, will not only agree with your God- based standards, but he will love you and respect you for them. So remember, always watch his actions and effort, that is what counts. Don’t pay attention so much to his words or excuses. Above all, have faith in God, keep doing your best & living for Him, & the right person will come. 💖

I hope you found this helpful! 🙂 God bless Xoxo

 

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Happy Valentine’s Day 😘

PicsArt_02-14-08.03.34I honestly thought about not writing anything related to Valentine’s day, because it seems a lot of people get down on this day. But I wanted to write about something that will cheer anyone right up: the love of God! 🙂 hehe 🙂 🙏💯

People everywhere are looking for love every single day. They look for it everywhere! In the most odd things, in objects that cannot possible give them love, such as money, jobs or careers, pets, alcohol and drugs, whatever! And while some of these things can give you some sort of temporary “love,” happiness, and fulfillment, they cannot fill the void that only God can fill within us. That void that makes us feel empty, alone, or depressed, or that nagging sense of dissatisfaction, even when things are seemingly PERFECT in life. Only God can fill that void! Only God can give us that perfect love that we need as humans. We cannot even get it from other people, because other people are not perfect. They cannot fill our every need. They will always let us down. Only God’s perfect love will fill the void. 💯

People wonder, why is it that there are some poor people who are so happy? They are so satisfied with life, with so little?!

It’s really not about money, it’s about knowing the love of God. There are both rich and poor people who are miserable, so money has nothing to do with it, although it is important to have it yes. We need it to live. But it isn’t everything in life. Just like receiving chocolates on Valentine’s day is also not everything in life, it is something nice when it happens, but we shouldn’t let it get us down if we don’t receive it. Not receiving it does not mean you are not any less valuable or important to God! 💎

Although it can be frustrating to not have something you feel you should have, the main reason why people feel sad on this day is because they are comparing themselves to others. If they just stopped comparing themselves, and started really looking at their life and appreciating the blessings, helping others, the end result would be more happiness and satisfaction. Also, when your identity is based on what chocolate companies or card companies think you should receive or should be doing on this day, you will live your entire life being pretty miserable LOL, because guess what? They ALWAYS have something to sell and some impossible standard for us to reach. These holidays are highly commercialized and as Christians we should be wise and not let ourselves be stressed or feel pressured. I love Valentine’s Day, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with celebrating. I just think if you cannot afford something, or simply did not receive some big gesture or anything at all, you should not let these things get you down. ❤

I for one, am single. So I don’t really get anything from a significant other on this day, and I don’t even have a date lol. I do always get a small present from my Mom on this day lol. (She is so sweet haha, she does that every year!). Maybe it’s because I grew up in Puerto Rico where this day was more of a “Friendship Day,” but I just do not feel the pressure as much. I actually took today off, not because it’s Valentine’s Day for another reason, but I am truly grateful because I got to spend the day with my one true love, God! I was able to fast this morning which is something I hadn’t done in a long time, and I’m glad I decided to do this again. It was amazing. I highly recommend to any Christian, if you have neglected fasting like I had, you should start doing it again. I am going to be doing it on a weekly basis because just doing it, reflecting, and spending that time alone with God, praying, was just like amazing. It was just what I needed.💖💪

So imo, this day could not have been better!😍

How are you spending your day? Whether you are single or not, Valentine’s Day is a good day to tell the people you love that you well, love them lol, care for them, & appreciate them! 🙂 😚💖 A quick phone call, a text, a note, whatever! 🙂 

I hope whatever you do, you include God in your plans. Have a happy and blessed “Valentine’s” day! 💖😚😍

Xoxo

18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 KJV

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My Testimony

PicsArt_02-04-04.18.10I realized I’ve never actually posted about my complete testimony on this blog. Although I did explain why I decided to start this blog on the “About me” section of this blog, I feel very compelled by the Spirit to write about my whole testimony more in depth.

It’s actually been really hard for me to talk about these things in the past, the enemy always made me feel very ashamed. But now that I am walking more in faith, I am realizing there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and that it’s necessary that I share this in order to help others who might be going through the same struggles that I went through. I was reading Derron E. Short’s book, “ Perfecting the Saints,” and he has a very interesting quote that says:

“Your misery will be your ministry.”

That one really stuck with me. It is really important that everyone tells their story in order to lift one another up. Even if you think your story does not matter, you never know how it might be helping another person, so here it goes….

The year was 1988… A beautiful baby by the name of Melanie was born… JK JK LOL

(I WAS NOT born in 1988 lol)  Not entirely denying the beautiful baby part though… LOL 😂

The truth is I was born to a good family, believers, church goers, and I was raised in the church! Throughout my teen years I was super good and stayed in the church, and it wasn’t until college when I totally strayed from God and His ways. It all started because I fell in sin in college, I started having sex before marriage. Then it was like everything just started to unravel and fall apart in my life. It was horrible. My parents found out about this and they are very conservative, and although I was over 18, they just hit the roof. They almost threw me out of the house, took away my car, they just did not know what to do with me. I was so rebellious but tbh I did not understand why they did not understand me more? They overreacted and were quite judgemental which added to the conflict. I wanted so badly, more than anything, to be loved and understood. But that was not what I received, and things only got worse for me from there.

Tbh, in my family there have always been “boundary issues.” To explain this further, I was raised in a family who was over involved, overly controlling/ perfectionist/ strict, yet at the same time, a bit unattached emotionally and cold. Let me tell you, this can do a NUMBER on a person LOL. It was just very confusing because I grew up thinking that this overstepping of boundaries, & this cold attitude, meant love. It was all I knew. (It led to some bad relationships down the road.)

Anyways this scenario really frustrated me as a teen, yet at that time I kind of chose to ignore it. Eventually as a college person, this caused me to rebel. I just didn’t understand it but I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore. I couldn’t handle the emotions, and I was just looking for love. I just was never allowed to think for myself or any form or self- expression was met with put- downs, disrespect, or passive- aggressive “jokes.” So perhaps it was my way of trying to affirm my own identity because I felt like I was not allowed to have my own identity, since it was such a strict upbringing (that is why, when I have children, Im going to raise them differently!).

But either way, I started to rebel and do things I felt were just different from what my family had taught me. In college I was exposed to different people, ideas that seemed great, but were actually quite deceiving and led to a self- destructive path. But I didn’t know, and I wasn’t willing to listen to my parents because I felt a lot of anger and resentment, so I just did my thing.

It reached the point where I considered myself “agnostic,” I really did not believe in God anymore! I abandoned everything that had to do with God, my family, and His ways. And let me tell you, those were the absolute worst days of my life. I was so separated from God. My parents just hated me. They didn’t, but it felt like it because they hardly spoke to me & were very cold the little that we spoke. This was so hurtful I kept on this downward spiral. Basically all of my relationships in my life were a mess. I was a ruin. I was an emotional wreck. I had depression, later developed anger issues, and bad anxiety. I was on antidepressants but they did nothing. It was just a horrible, horrible feeling.

I felt so alone. I sought to fill this void with guys. I dated quite a bit, I had relationships and one particularly toxic long- term relationship which left me completely destroyed. When it ended, I didn’t want to live. I know! Crazy right?! It seems like I am talking about a different person!!! But no, that was me!!! I remember going to a “therapist” and telling this person desperately, I really need help (this was before I even broke up with that person). I am having such bad suicidal thoughts, I just want to kill myself. Do you know what the therapist replied? “Well, why don’t you just kill yourself”

YES. THAT IS WHAT HE REPLIED. 😡

Thank you Lord, I had the good sense to not listen to that buffoon sent by Satan, and walked out of that office and never returned. I wish I knew that person’s name now, I would report them to the Board.

Anyway, I remember one particular day, I just wanted that pain to end. I took a bunch of pills, I honestly do not remember what I took because this was already like 10 years ago. I think they were the anxiety pills, not sure. I drove around like a mad person. LOL, and came home and went to bed. And by God’s grace, I woke up the next day.

I also was not able to keep a steady job because of my emotional instability. This sadly affected my career in the beginning, because when I first graduated and began working was when the break-up happened, and I simply could not cope. I had a great first job, but it was actually quite challenging. It would have been stressful for a “normal” person, but for me, I was having panic attacks in the bathroom! I couldn’t handle the stress from the job, plus all the stress in my personal life. With the depression and all those mental health issues, I unfortunately had to leave that job. (But God turned that around!)

But now I have gotten my career back on track. It’s been because I’ve gotten my life back on track, and that’s because I got my relationship with God back on track!!!!!

I will never leave God again, I am simply nothing without Him. He’s been so faithful!

Btw, I have been living depression and anxiety- free for like 7 years!!!! Absolutely no medication!!!! Ever!!!! God truly healed my soul. And have restored my relationships!!!

Now, I am not saying that if you have to take meds right now that you shouldn’t take them, I was actually a psych major LOL, you cannot just STOP these meds like that. But I slowly & gradually improved until I was able to get off them permanently. I cannot say this all happened over night. It was actually a SLOW process that took years, but now looking back, I am amazed!

If you are a person who suffers from a mental illness, just remember, you are not alone. YOUR life has a great purpose!!!! I know it can truly feel like we are alone in this big scary world. But don’t believe Satan’s lies. He wants to see you down and defeated. But in reality, he is the one who is already defeated, for we already have victory through Jesus!

Always believe in the hope that there is a better tomorrow. There is healing, and even though it’s hard and some days you may have some setbacks, just keep pushing forward. It is 100% worth it. Just trust God 100% with all of your heart and you will be amazed. Believe in all His promises wholeheartedly. He will do it. God does miracles every day. I consider what God did in my life a miracle. 💖🙏

God truly made beauty from the ashes, and He made everything new again.

I now live life as a Christian (I am a Christian lol), I have remained single mostly after that bad break- up, but I’ve made the decision to not have sex again until I get married, if that is in God’s plan for my life. I was seeing a Christian therapist during that recovery period (she was so awesome), to deal with some of my issues, and it really helped so much. I highly encourage anyone to find a Christian therapist if you feel you have these issues. I preferred a woman because I am a woman and there were so many issues I needed to talk about without feeling like it was awkward or anything. A good Christian therapist will simply listen, be non- judgemental, and tbh she didn’t even offer any incredible advice LOL. Just her listening and not judging me was like, incredible LOL. She helped a lot and somehow helped to put things into perspective for me. Wherever she is, I hope God blesses her!

It all makes me think, sometimes in life, there are situations that are unfair. Yes. This is a fact. I feel my upbringing wasn’t fair. BUT,

  1. I am grateful for the good things about it.
  2. I have learned not to take a bad situation and make it WORSE with my bad attitude, therefore prolonging my own time in that bad situation. Always stay focused on the positives and just try to think of the solutions, and ask God for answers.
  3. And of course, just TRUST GOD ALWAYS. ❤

So that is my testimony. I hope you guys like it and that it somehow resonates with someone out there going through the same thing or a similar situation. Always remember there is hope in Christ, never ever give up. You are one of a kind! 💎

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD has risen upon you. — Isaiah 60:1

God bless! Xoxo

PS- As for my parents, everyone who has hurt me, I forgive all of them. God has restored my relationship with my parents, & I am grateful. I realize this doesn’t always happen. In my case, it was possible. Sometimes it isn’t. The Bible says we have to forgive regardless. Psalm 27:10 says “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Issues with these relationships can be painful. But we must remember God is our comfort & healer, & He is ALWAYS there for us. 

My parents were doing the best they possibly could. That is the only way they knew how. I forgive, but I have learned as an adult to set my boundaries. Keep moving forward!!! In Jesus name!!! 🙂 👍💯

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Emotional Baggage 💼

PicsArt_01-12-02.40.11Many of us are walking around carrying loads of emotional baggage. For some, you could even say their whole identity is formed on past emotional baggage. And of course, our past experiences make us who we are. But when do we know if we’re carrying around past hurts for too long? Past hurts that we’ve been refusing to let go?

We want to start new relationships, move forward to the next level of our lives, but we are simply unable to and we wonder why? It’s like we’re cursed! 😱 I’ve had this very thought myself. I am not denying, some people do place curses over others and we should always pray to break these things over our lives. But sometimes, the problem is that we CONTINUE to WILLINGLY carry these curses or baggage from the past. We simply refuse to let go, and by doing this, we are shutting the door to the new blessings in our lives that God stands ready and waiting to give us.

We subconsciously form an emotional attachment to these curses, to this negativity. We internalize the enemy’s lies over our lives, and find ourselves living those lies! They become our identity. 

I think the root of this problem is FEAR. Fear of letting go of the past, for fear that the future will have nothing better to offer. This is a toxic pattern we MUST break if we are to move forward.

Let me tell you, FEAR has nothing to do with FAITH. This doesn’t mean we get to go around acting all crazy because we have “no fear.” No. we must always still be prudent and cautious. But having faith means believing God and His promises for our lives, and not believing the fears that the enemy tries to place in your head.  Those thoughts of guilt, of lack, of negativity, of poor self- worth, and condemnation simply have no place in your life because they will destroy you & stop you from receiving blessings & opportunities, & from doing what God needs you to do for His Kingdom! We don’t have to live condemned. Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and this means that we get to live a life of freedom and joy through Him!

So today, let’s make a choice to LET GO of all this past baggage. Let’s let go of all the past hurt, toxic relationships, curses placed over us, negativity, bad patterns or ways of living, etc. Ask God to remove them in Jesus name. Make the decision to let it all go and turn to Jesus. We may not know what lies ahead, but we know for certain the past has nothing good to offer. And we also know that if we are with God, our future will always be bright. We will always be provided for, and our plans will succeed.

But you have let go of the world. Sometimes we have a tight grip on something that wasn’t meant for you, but then that thing starts to hurt you because it was never meant to be in your life. God’s will for our lives will always be greater than any plan or desire we have for our ourselves. Our plans will always lead to self- destruction. God will always lead us to life. He has given us a new identity as His children! We are made new! So once we do this, we no longer have to identify with those old toxic patterns. They’re just not who we are anymore. 😊

The Word of God is the Ultimate TRUTH. Whatever anyone has told you in the past that contradicts what the Bible says, it is simply NOT TRUE & you shouldn’t accept it as your truth. The enemy will try ANYTHING to separate you from God & see you downtrodden, sad, & defeated.

So right now, if you are living feeling condemned, guilty, heartbroken, sad, stressed, etc; Just pray to God. Give all of your cares to him. But truly give them to him, ask Him for forgiveness, and to help you and guide you in your path. Tell Him to replace all sadness, worry, and anxiety, with His perfect peace and JOY. Ask Him to cleanse and purify your heart. Forgive whoever you need to forgive. In the name is Jesus.

God will surely help you if you ask, He stands by waiting. 🙂 The victory is already ours as God’s children. Isn’t that amazing? In fact, making beauty from ashes is kind of God’s area of expertise, I can testify to this Lol. If you’re lugging around a suitcase full of past hurts, bringing it into every new relationship, job, etc., it’s just too heavy of a burden to bear. Give Him your past hurts, let go of the fears, & start living life in God’s TRUTH. ❤

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Hope you are having a fabulous #FriYAY!!

God bless 💖Xoxo

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Abuse 💔, & Standing Up for Ourselves ✋💪

PicsArt_01-10-03.51.03Have you ever had this thought?

That women who do not ask for what they want, do not get their needs met? They get taken advantage of because they have no set standards, so they will adjust their morals to please just about anyone… This is a dangerous attitude to have for many reasons. The main reasons are that:

  1. They are lost & confused in their identity, affecting every area of their lives
  2. They become magnets to predators who look for these women are lost, simply because they are so easy to control and manipulate that they become easy prey. This is also a result of the 1st reason, being lost in your identity. When you don’t know who you are, what your morals & values are, you will change them to try just about anything that feels good at the moment. But in the long-term, these are things that lead to destruction of your self. 

And this goes for anybody, not just women. There’s people who have such a difficult time with this concept of asking, or even KNOWING what they want in the first place! They don’t ask because they either genuinely do not even know what they want (identity), or have a deeply held belief that what they want doesn’t even matter. This is simply false!

I’m not saying we need to have everything all figured out 100% of the time, but as women we need to have solid standards, or else any cute, hot, athletic, funny, rich (take your pick) guy who is an absolute jerk will come along, and if he has no standards or morals, it’s easy to fall for them and do things we really shouldn’t be doing, compromising ourselves and doing major damage to our sense of self- worth. It is a downhill spiral that many women, tragically, do not get out of.

It’s very sad, but it has to do with how we’re raised. Women’s and girls opinions are so often undermined and overlooked that some of them have actually internalized this attitude into their own thinking. But we women, are very special to God! God gave us a voice and He didn’t make us to live this way. 

I have to say, that Christian communities are the first to allow abuse to run rampant. There is MUCH work to be done in this area, because there is all kinds of abuse that happens in Christians families, and women and children suffer in silence. This is the truth and it shouldn’t be. And believe me I know because I grew up in a Christian home. In a Christian community. There were so many men who used the Bible as an excuse to display chauvinistic and unloving, even abusive, attitudes toward their wives & girlfriends, when actually the Bible says men should love their wives just as Christ loved the church. What they did was the opposite of the Bible! I see it to this very day, I would say it’s actually gotten even worse now!  

Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Women who aren’t taught to express themselves, or that their emotions are valid and should be respected, often grow up not respecting their own emotions or needs. They become confused, and become targets to predators because they can be so easily manipulated. Their behavior is like blood to sharks, it is a tell-tale sign that she is a woman with poor sense of self- worth, it attracts them and they become their easy prey. Predators only go for this kind of prey, they would never ever be attracted to a woman who has a voice and will stand up for herself, because his psychological abuse and manipulations would simply never work on her!!

It’s up to us women (and the good men on this earth), to make a change for the better. We need to stop dating these men who mistreat us, even if they SAY they are Christian. We need to stop the habit of undermining our own feelings, and start recognizing that we are WORTHY in the eyes of the Lord, and nobody has the right to treat us in a bad way or to say that our feelings and needs are not valid.

As women, we need to teach both our boys and girls about respecting people and their emotions. We need to teach them that THEIR emotions are valid as well. That’s not to say you let your kids do whatever lol, but you get my point. If we want to change the Christian community for the better, if really are the light of the world, we need to PUT THE LIGHT in the dark world of abuse in Christian families and communities. We need to talk about, address it. Empower women and children, instead of trying to silence them and blame them.

Ultimately, God is the judge. He will judge our actions on this earth, and every single one of these people who abuses another, will be held accountable for their actions. That is a promise we can lean on and have hope upon. God’s perfect justice. In the meantime, let’s stand up for ourselves, love ourselves. Recognize that we are WORTHY in the eyes of the Lord ❤

Have a blessed day! 💖 Xoxo 

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My True Love ❤

PicsArt_01-07-03.10.02Have you guys ever had this thought? That you are single bc you want to be? I think about it all of the time like, why am I single? I really would rather be single than be with a man who’s going to separate me from God, make me miserable, & bring so much pain into my life. Being with the wrong man does that.

I am in my mid 30’s now. I used to seriously beat myself up over not being married or having kids already. But you know what? I think it’s the BEST thing that’s happened to me. Maybe I thought I was mature enough to handle marriage, but I would’ve ended up in divorce court & this is God’s way of protecting me while He prepares me for my destiny. If this is the plan God had for me, I welcome it with open arms! Because I know only He knows the future & He has my best interest at ❤.

If I end up getting married at 40, so be it. As long as it’s God’s will, I wouldn’t have it any other way. ❤ Being raised in a conservative Hispanic country, meant there were always double standards, boys were almost always preferred over girls (unless you were the pretty popular one which I WASN’T lol, growing up I was awkward & weird haha!!), they always got to do the fun stuff, go outside, learn, experiment, even got more gifts & preferential treatment. If you’re a girl, the message is, you suck, go clean something lol. You were groomed for marriage & to serve your husband from day 1. At least that’s how I was raised. So you tend to grow up thinking that nothing else in the world matters, that marriage just seems so awesome & one day, I will be happy when my prince charming comes to save me from this awful life. You never develop your own dreams & talents because, well you’re a girl & your only job is to be a wife.  

This narrative is simply, such a big false lie.  This leads many women, including myself, down a dark path of depression, self- hatred, & anger that only God can break you free from. No man, no person, can give you the happiness, peace,& fulfillment we need as humans. (There’s also the flip- side to this which is just as false, thinking that only YOU can save YOU. I will write more about this lie from the enemy later.) Men (or women) are NOT our saviors. Only Jesus is our savior!!!

And that He did!!!! Jesus saved me. He broke me free. God is MY true love. We have the freedom to find our happiness, which lies in Him. We women have the freedom to work for what we want & create the life we want. We have the freedom to ask God where He wants to use us, what is His purpose for us? And let Him create something beautiful in us. We cannot go relying on people to do things for us, because at the end of the day, each and every one of us is accountable to God for the work we did on earth. This is not to say we cannot accept help, either. Accepting help & knowing when you need it, are vital.

The truly important thing in dating & life is, not trying to impress the men who don’t even care, who will probably be out of your life the next month, but trying to impress our true love, Jesus.

Hope you have a blessed day! 🙂 Xoxo 💖

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Christian Book Reviews and Recommendations (Dec/ Jan) 🙂📚🤓

I had kind of a long reading list for the month of January lol. I just finished a couple of books & I’m slowly but surely working on some more. (I’m just basically addicted to my Kindle app bc I can read my books anywhere & lots are free to download!!🤓). There’s just so many great books out there!! But one must choose. So first, let me tell you about the books I read in December/ beginning of January! FYI, the books I read are usually about living a Christ-centered life or about dating by Christian authors.

  • Is this your man? By Colin Tate

This book was fantastic imo! Colin came up with 6 toxic types of men you should avoid. And let me tell you, it’s real & eye-opening!! It’s also God- centered which is what I loved the most. A must- read for every single Christian woman trying to navigate the dating scene! You can download free with Kindle unlimited.

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https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Man-Should-Dating-ebook/dp/B0182FUNE2

  • Faith Habits By Derron E. Short

Simply put, this book is amazing. It’s perfect for anyone trying to reach that next level in their faith, but they’re just not sure how. It talks about habits we need to develop AND drop as Christians. It’s completely Bible- based, & seriously one of the BEST books I’ve read!!! It’s actually really changed my life, my perspective, & I’m not exaggerating. I LOVED this book. It’s also available to download free with Kindle Unlimited.

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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0777MMC9Q/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

The books I picked to read in January are…

  • “ Perfecting the Saints” By Derron E. Short. The reason I chose this book is bc Derron’s book Faith Habits was so fantastic, I just want to read more of his material. He really knows so much, so I am sure to enjoy this one as well. (Link below)

  • A Life Beyond Amazing by Dr. David Jeremiah. I started a little bit of this book, and I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I have a physical copy vs Kindle copy, I find it hard to read & stay focused on it for very long. I’m STILL on the 1st Chapter of Love. The book is REALLY good, I dk, I just think it’s hard to read. It’s also a very long book so this might be one of my February books as well possibly if I’m not done. But it’s so interesting. Maybe they’re just hard concepts for me LOL. But either way I’m going to push forward. ✊ There’s a lot of wisdom from God in this book. (Link below as well)

So my 2018 is off to a great start! I have to go take a nap now lol. 😴 Xoxo

PS- Here are the links to all the books I mentioned: 🤓📚

“Is This Your Man?: Meet Six Types of Men that Women Should Avoid Dating” by Colin Tate.
Start reading it for free: http://a.co/9eLyyxq

“Faith Habits: Identify Unproductive Habits and Unlock Your God Given Potential” by Derron E Short. Start reading it for free: http://a.co/3FqZIJL

“Perfecting The Saints” by Derron Short.
Start reading it for free: http://a.co/1RGq5GZ

“A Life Beyond Amazing: 9 Decisions That Will Transform Your Life Today” by David Jeremiah.
Start reading it for free: http://a.co/eweGU07