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Learning to Trust God’s Will 💖💪

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I had a situation present itself lately and the end result was simply not what I expected. It seemed like things were not in my favor. From my purely flawed human standpoint, it seemed as if I had lost the battle. And I don’t like losing lol. I can’t think of a single person who does. But more than that, I don’t like it when unfair or unjust things happen to me. I don’t like seeing evil people getting away with their bad deeds, especially when their bad deeds were aimed at hurting me or those that I love! So I was kinda like God, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?! 😤😔😢 I wasn’t like mad or upset at God or anything. But for a second I was like, why is thing happening to me? I didn’t understand.🙁
I felt this burning question deep within me, I didn’t understand why. Finally, God answered my question, and it’s so obvious yet I somehow I missed it: GOD’S WILL. 🤓 (oops lol)
As Christians we don’t always win all of the time here on earth. That is just a fact. Being Christian does not mean we’ll get treated fairly (quite the opposite, actually), and it doesn’t mean we’ll always get our way. Yes, God is good to us and He blesses us. But there are times when His will might be in conflict with what we want, our desires, and when that happens, we might FEEL LIKE we are losing, but we are actually winning because our Father is being good to us. He is not permitting us to go outside of His will. He is protecting us from something that is not good for us, something that in the future, will be very harmful for our lives and will separate us from Him and our purpose.
I knew I had to accept whatever end result came out of this ordeal. EVEN IF things were not in my favor, it doesn’t mean I am not in God’s favor. I shouldn’t take it to mean God doesn’t love me or like I was doing something wrong. Sometimes, you can be doing everything right, but there are situations where God’s will just wants to take you in a different direction, and we just have to trust Him and go with it! We also have to trust that even though we may not see our vindication right then and there, you can trust that if someone has wronged you, God will make it right. He WILL do justice in His timing, we don’t have to do a single thing except trust God. We never have to take matters into our own hands or anything of the sort.
I might have lost the battle, looking at it from a human standpoint. But from a spiritual standpoint, it was a definite win. I’m grateful to God for protecting me because I wanted something that was not His will, and I do not want anything that is not God’s will in my life!! As great as it may SEEM or appear. Maybe this was God’s plan all along. I think the other lesson for me personally here is that, when it comes to making decisions (no matter how small or big) I need to involve God, or else those decisions, made with my own human rationale, will basically take me down the wrong path. Sometimes, decisions which seem small can have a big impact. So we need to involve God in every area of our lives.
God wants the best for us. I thought the outcome I had in my mind was the best outcome. But it is not! God is all powerful, and whatever outcome He has planned, you can trust it will be a million times better! We just have to trust in Him. It can be difficult sometimes, but God will always provide everything we need. We will never lack a good thing. And we never have to be afraid.
So onward and upward, God has blessings for us like we cannot even imagine. 💖

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. —Psalm 34:10

Have a blessed week! Xoxo 💖

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Happy Valentine’s Day 😘

PicsArt_02-14-08.03.34I honestly thought about not writing anything related to Valentine’s day, because it seems a lot of people get down on this day. But I wanted to write about something that will cheer anyone right up: the love of God! 🙂 hehe 🙂 🙏💯

People everywhere are looking for love every single day. They look for it everywhere! In the most odd things, in objects that cannot possible give them love, such as money, jobs or careers, pets, alcohol and drugs, whatever! And while some of these things can give you some sort of temporary “love,” happiness, and fulfillment, they cannot fill the void that only God can fill within us. That void that makes us feel empty, alone, or depressed, or that nagging sense of dissatisfaction, even when things are seemingly PERFECT in life. Only God can fill that void! Only God can give us that perfect love that we need as humans. We cannot even get it from other people, because other people are not perfect. They cannot fill our every need. They will always let us down. Only God’s perfect love will fill the void. 💯

People wonder, why is it that there are some poor people who are so happy? They are so satisfied with life, with so little?!

It’s really not about money, it’s about knowing the love of God. There are both rich and poor people who are miserable, so money has nothing to do with it, although it is important to have it yes. We need it to live. But it isn’t everything in life. Just like receiving chocolates on Valentine’s day is also not everything in life, it is something nice when it happens, but we shouldn’t let it get us down if we don’t receive it. Not receiving it does not mean you are not any less valuable or important to God! 💎

Although it can be frustrating to not have something you feel you should have, the main reason why people feel sad on this day is because they are comparing themselves to others. If they just stopped comparing themselves, and started really looking at their life and appreciating the blessings, helping others, the end result would be more happiness and satisfaction. Also, when your identity is based on what chocolate companies or card companies think you should receive or should be doing on this day, you will live your entire life being pretty miserable LOL, because guess what? They ALWAYS have something to sell and some impossible standard for us to reach. These holidays are highly commercialized and as Christians we should be wise and not let ourselves be stressed or feel pressured. I love Valentine’s Day, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with celebrating. I just think if you cannot afford something, or simply did not receive some big gesture or anything at all, you should not let these things get you down. ❤

I for one, am single. So I don’t really get anything from a significant other on this day, and I don’t even have a date lol. I do always get a small present from my Mom on this day lol. (She is so sweet haha, she does that every year!). Maybe it’s because I grew up in Puerto Rico where this day was more of a “Friendship Day,” but I just do not feel the pressure as much. I actually took today off, not because it’s Valentine’s Day for another reason, but I am truly grateful because I got to spend the day with my one true love, God! I was able to fast this morning which is something I hadn’t done in a long time, and I’m glad I decided to do this again. It was amazing. I highly recommend to any Christian, if you have neglected fasting like I had, you should start doing it again. I am going to be doing it on a weekly basis because just doing it, reflecting, and spending that time alone with God, praying, was just like amazing. It was just what I needed.💖💪

So imo, this day could not have been better!😍

How are you spending your day? Whether you are single or not, Valentine’s Day is a good day to tell the people you love that you well, love them lol, care for them, & appreciate them! 🙂 😚💖 A quick phone call, a text, a note, whatever! 🙂 

I hope whatever you do, you include God in your plans. Have a happy and blessed “Valentine’s” day! 💖😚😍

Xoxo

18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 KJV

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My Testimony

PicsArt_02-04-04.18.10I realized I’ve never actually posted about my complete testimony on this blog. Although I did explain why I decided to start this blog on the “About me” section of this blog, I feel very compelled by the Spirit to write about my whole testimony more in depth.

It’s actually been really hard for me to talk about these things in the past, the enemy always made me feel very ashamed. But now that I am walking more in faith, I am realizing there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and that it’s necessary that I share this in order to help others who might be going through the same struggles that I went through. I was reading Derron E. Short’s book, “ Perfecting the Saints,” and he has a very interesting quote that says:

“Your misery will be your ministry.”

That one really stuck with me. It is really important that everyone tells their story in order to lift one another up. Even if you think your story does not matter, you never know how it might be helping another person, so here it goes….

The year was 1988… A beautiful baby by the name of Melanie was born… JK JK LOL

(I WAS NOT born in 1988 lol)  Not entirely denying the beautiful baby part though… LOL 😂

The truth is I was born to a good family, believers, church goers, and I was raised in the church! Throughout my teen years I was super good and stayed in the church, and it wasn’t until college when I totally strayed from God and His ways. It all started because I fell in sin in college, I started having sex before marriage. Then it was like everything just started to unravel and fall apart in my life. It was horrible. My parents found out about this and they are very conservative, and although I was over 18, they just hit the roof. They almost threw me out of the house, took away my car, they just did not know what to do with me. I was so rebellious but tbh I did not understand why they did not understand me more? They overreacted and were quite judgemental which added to the conflict. I wanted so badly, more than anything, to be loved and understood. But that was not what I received, and things only got worse for me from there.

Tbh, in my family there have always been “boundary issues.” To explain this further, I was raised in a family who was over involved, overly controlling/ perfectionist/ strict, yet at the same time, a bit unattached emotionally and cold. Let me tell you, this can do a NUMBER on a person LOL. It was just very confusing because I grew up thinking that this overstepping of boundaries, & this cold attitude, meant love. It was all I knew. (It led to some bad relationships down the road.)

Anyways this scenario really frustrated me as a teen, yet at that time I kind of chose to ignore it. Eventually as a college person, this caused me to rebel. I just didn’t understand it but I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore. I couldn’t handle the emotions, and I was just looking for love. I just was never allowed to think for myself or any form or self- expression was met with put- downs, disrespect, or passive- aggressive “jokes.” So perhaps it was my way of trying to affirm my own identity because I felt like I was not allowed to have my own identity, since it was such a strict upbringing (that is why, when I have children, Im going to raise them differently!).

But either way, I started to rebel and do things I felt were just different from what my family had taught me. In college I was exposed to different people, ideas that seemed great, but were actually quite deceiving and led to a self- destructive path. But I didn’t know, and I wasn’t willing to listen to my parents because I felt a lot of anger and resentment, so I just did my thing.

It reached the point where I considered myself “agnostic,” I really did not believe in God anymore! I abandoned everything that had to do with God, my family, and His ways. And let me tell you, those were the absolute worst days of my life. I was so separated from God. My parents just hated me. They didn’t, but it felt like it because they hardly spoke to me & were very cold the little that we spoke. This was so hurtful I kept on this downward spiral. Basically all of my relationships in my life were a mess. I was a ruin. I was an emotional wreck. I had depression, later developed anger issues, and bad anxiety. I was on antidepressants but they did nothing. It was just a horrible, horrible feeling.

I felt so alone. I sought to fill this void with guys. I dated quite a bit, I had relationships and one particularly toxic long- term relationship which left me completely destroyed. When it ended, I didn’t want to live. I know! Crazy right?! It seems like I am talking about a different person!!! But no, that was me!!! I remember going to a “therapist” and telling this person desperately, I really need help (this was before I even broke up with that person). I am having such bad suicidal thoughts, I just want to kill myself. Do you know what the therapist replied? “Well, why don’t you just kill yourself”

YES. THAT IS WHAT HE REPLIED. 😡

Thank you Lord, I had the good sense to not listen to that buffoon sent by Satan, and walked out of that office and never returned. I wish I knew that person’s name now, I would report them to the Board.

Anyway, I remember one particular day, I just wanted that pain to end. I took a bunch of pills, I honestly do not remember what I took because this was already like 10 years ago. I think they were the anxiety pills, not sure. I drove around like a mad person. LOL, and came home and went to bed. And by God’s grace, I woke up the next day.

I also was not able to keep a steady job because of my emotional instability. This sadly affected my career in the beginning, because when I first graduated and began working was when the break-up happened, and I simply could not cope. I had a great first job, but it was actually quite challenging. It would have been stressful for a “normal” person, but for me, I was having panic attacks in the bathroom! I couldn’t handle the stress from the job, plus all the stress in my personal life. With the depression and all those mental health issues, I unfortunately had to leave that job. (But God turned that around!)

But now I have gotten my career back on track. It’s been because I’ve gotten my life back on track, and that’s because I got my relationship with God back on track!!!!!

I will never leave God again, I am simply nothing without Him. He’s been so faithful!

Btw, I have been living depression and anxiety- free for like 7 years!!!! Absolutely no medication!!!! Ever!!!! God truly healed my soul. And have restored my relationships!!!

Now, I am not saying that if you have to take meds right now that you shouldn’t take them, I was actually a psych major LOL, you cannot just STOP these meds like that. But I slowly & gradually improved until I was able to get off them permanently. I cannot say this all happened over night. It was actually a SLOW process that took years, but now looking back, I am amazed!

If you are a person who suffers from a mental illness, just remember, you are not alone. YOUR life has a great purpose!!!! I know it can truly feel like we are alone in this big scary world. But don’t believe Satan’s lies. He wants to see you down and defeated. But in reality, he is the one who is already defeated, for we already have victory through Jesus!

Always believe in the hope that there is a better tomorrow. There is healing, and even though it’s hard and some days you may have some setbacks, just keep pushing forward. It is 100% worth it. Just trust God 100% with all of your heart and you will be amazed. Believe in all His promises wholeheartedly. He will do it. God does miracles every day. I consider what God did in my life a miracle. 💖🙏

God truly made beauty from the ashes, and He made everything new again.

I now live life as a Christian (I am a Christian lol), I have remained single mostly after that bad break- up, but I’ve made the decision to not have sex again until I get married, if that is in God’s plan for my life. I was seeing a Christian therapist during that recovery period (she was so awesome), to deal with some of my issues, and it really helped so much. I highly encourage anyone to find a Christian therapist if you feel you have these issues. I preferred a woman because I am a woman and there were so many issues I needed to talk about without feeling like it was awkward or anything. A good Christian therapist will simply listen, be non- judgemental, and tbh she didn’t even offer any incredible advice LOL. Just her listening and not judging me was like, incredible LOL. She helped a lot and somehow helped to put things into perspective for me. Wherever she is, I hope God blesses her!

It all makes me think, sometimes in life, there are situations that are unfair. Yes. This is a fact. I feel my upbringing wasn’t fair. BUT,

  1. I am grateful for the good things about it.
  2. I have learned not to take a bad situation and make it WORSE with my bad attitude, therefore prolonging my own time in that bad situation. Always stay focused on the positives and just try to think of the solutions, and ask God for answers.
  3. And of course, just TRUST GOD ALWAYS. ❤

So that is my testimony. I hope you guys like it and that it somehow resonates with someone out there going through the same thing or a similar situation. Always remember there is hope in Christ, never ever give up. You are one of a kind! 💎

Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD has risen upon you. — Isaiah 60:1

God bless! Xoxo

PS- As for my parents, everyone who has hurt me, I forgive all of them. God has restored my relationship with my parents, & I am grateful. I realize this doesn’t always happen. In my case, it was possible. Sometimes it isn’t. The Bible says we have to forgive regardless. Psalm 27:10 says “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Issues with these relationships can be painful. But we must remember God is our comfort & healer, & He is ALWAYS there for us. 

My parents were doing the best they possibly could. That is the only way they knew how. I forgive, but I have learned as an adult to set my boundaries. Keep moving forward!!! In Jesus name!!! 🙂 👍💯