Giving too much of ourselves? Boundaries pt.2

Boundaries, if you’re not familiar, are basically how we tell people how to and how not to treat us. Yet surprisingly, most people aren’t even really aware of what their boundaries are! Boundaries are ESPECIALLY important for us women. Nowadays it seems someone is always out there trying to take advantage, cheat us, & rob us of our dignity, value, & self-respect.

We cannot allow this to happen. By setting strong boundaries, i.e. LIMITS, you are protecting yourself from people who come into your life trying to harm you. With strong boundaries in place, you will surely save yourself a LOT of the heartbreak & drama that comes with mixing with the wrong people. It’s not easy keeping boundaries, especially in this culture that heavily rewards promiscuity & being “free” (by the world’s definition, they don’t abide by the REAL freedom which is found through Jesus Christ!). Enforcing boundaries might seem tough at times yes, especially when you’re being tested, but it will sure be worth it!!! 💖

I think of boundaries in terms of:
Romantic/ Sexual- What you allow/ don’t allow partners to do, how you allow them to treat you, how do you treat your partner?

Time/ Favors- Do you do too many things for others? Do you have enough time for yourself? Giving too much money away?

Self respect- How you talk to & treat people & how we allow to ppl to talk & treat us. Do you allow people to yell at you or call you names? Or do you do that to others?

“Inner boundaries” – boundaries with yourself. How you treat yourself. Do you treat yourself with respect? Do you use negative self talk? Do you take care of yourself & look out for yourself? Do you have goals you want to achieve or do you constantly neglect your goals, or not have any at all?

These are just categories I used personally to think about my boundaries. I literally thought about my life & wrote these out but I’m sure there are more. If you’re interested in the topic, there’s many Christian books or articles, even counselors who can help with setting boundaries. (Links below!!)

Remember, NOBODY is perfect, BUT that of course does not give anyone the right to constantly disrespect you, put you down, or purposefully try to trespass, make fun of, or violate the boundaries you’ve set up!

Being a Christian woman does not mean being a doormat. Many people seem to have this impression, but it actually couldn’t be further from the truth! As Christians, we have MAJOR VALUE in the eyes of the Lord. Think about that. The Creator, God of everything & everyone thinks of you & I as His own!!

Now I’m not saying people need to roll out the red carpet for us every single time & that we should walk around feeling entitled lol. I’m just saying we have value, our feelings, thoughts, etc. And especially the dreams & desires God put in your heart. With a good set of boundaries, you can keep your values & dignity no matter if someone tries to manipulate you. You can surround yourself with people who really care about you & your success & aren’t just trying to use you for whatever reason.

⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’^[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b] There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12: 30-31 NIV

Jesus LOVES us. He TRULY LOVES us. At our worst possible moments, when we think we’re unlovable, He still loves us & desires a relationship with us. There’s no love more perfect than this. So we should love one another based on His example. And we should remember that people aren’t perfect, we’re all bound to screw up. But when looking for a relationship, we should look for one that models Christ’s love for us! We should look for men who love God, respect us, respect our boundaries based on God & actually agree with them & have similar boundaries themselves!! This applies to our friendships as well, family relationships, neighbors, & even our workplaces!!

Do you believe you are worthy of this kind of love? Guess what? YOU ARE! Start praying to God for guidance & wisdom if this is an area where you struggle. You will not regret it. It is a great step toward self- respect & creating a life more focused on how God wants us to live it.

I hope this helps someone out there & as usual please reach out w any questions, comments!!

God bless xoxo 💖😗

PS- Here are some links I found helpful!

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/do-you-love-yourself-enough

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.gotquestions.org/amp/self-love.html

http://crossroadsindy.com/counseling-and-mental-health-articles/couples-and-marriage/boundaries-definition-and-types-of-boundaries

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-importance-of-personal-boundaries/