Harsh reality in life. Sometimes, some people will not be interested in us romantically. I strongly believe, if a guy isn’t into you, it’s best to save yourself the emotional turmoil & pain, and just move on. Find someone with whom you have a real connection, and who reciprocates those feelings as well. It feels amazing when you’ve found someone that you click with, but we cannot force these things to happen. I wrote a little bit before about creating boundaries/ standards in dating, & in life in general, based on God & His word (you can find these blog posts here & here). 😉❤
So today, I wanted to share with you 10 signs he’s just “not that into you.” These are just 10 signs he’s not treating you properly because he doesn’t care about you all that much. Keep in mind, when men behave this way, treating us poorly, it is just a reflection of their own low sense of self- worth. Try to learn from experiences, but don’t take rejections too personally or take it to heart because at the end of the day, that person was simply not who God intended for you. ❤
BTW, I first heard this term from the book “He’s just not that into you” by Greg Bernhart. It’s a dating classic and I believe this book started it ALL. As some of you know (or maybe not LOL), I love reading, and anything about God like devotionals, psychology, self- development, and dating is my jam lol. Right now I’m into Matthew Hussey because he’s a dating coach plus he’s BIG on self- development and simply living a life that is, well lived basically! We all have our definitions of that but I like how he just gives you a blueprint sort of. He knows A LOT about human behavior and emotions. If you want to get better at understanding people, I suggest watching some of his life videos. Even his dating videos offer a ton of great advice that can be applied to any life situation. 😀
Anyways lol, these tips I came up with are just things that I’ve either experienced myself, or that I’ve read & heard about other women experiencing, & thought I’d include them. Some of them might seem obvious, but trust me, I know some people lower their standards for a person they like. I’m not judging bc I know feelings cloud our judgement, but I use these as a guide to “override” my feelings & make good decisions. No matter how I feel about the guy, if these behaviors appear, I move on. So these signs are red flags that a guy isn’t treating you the right way or taking you as seriously as he should. And of course, this is just my opinion, I’m not an expert or anything! These are just things I’ve noticed 🙂 I know some are a little simplistic, but I hope they’re somehow helpful. 💖
10 Signs he’s “not that into you:”
- He’s rude to you, mean, disrespectful, lies to you, or is even angry or aggressive
- He doesn’t put his best foot forward for you-None or little effort
- He is inconsistent, flaky, or ghosts you (or worse, dumps you!!), & if he sends mixed signals or breadcrumbs you
- He forgets important things about you
- He stays distant from you, physically and emotionally. Keeps you at “arms length.”
- There’s no progress happening in the relationship.
- He never or rarely initiates. You do all the work.
- He criticizes you, important aspects of your personality & your life.
- He has a wandering eye, flirts with other women online or real life, or even cheats on you.
- He doesn’t respect or value your God- based boundaries or standards.
You can’t make people like you or fall in love with you. If a guy isn’t sharing your values, or SAYS he does, then in his actions he is clearly disrespecting them, you cannot change that about him. Having different values is a recipe for disaster & heartbreak. 💔😭
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
— 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV
Furthermore, if you have a pattern of falling for people who treat you poorly, are emotionally unavailable, or have different values, you need to ask yourself why. Ask the Lord to help you overcome this unhealthy habit. Seek a counselor. Learn to be aware of signs when a man is unavailable, so you can avoid them.
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. — 2 Timothy 2:22
Lastly, stop giving men chances who simply do not deserve it, who do not meet your standards or try to disrespect your boundaries, just because you think he’s so cute or funny, or you have a connection, or his hair is cool, whatever! Just, no. LOL. We’re better than this! We can teach men how to treat us right by our own actions and what we choose to accept. Even self- proclaimed Christian men try to pull this all of the time, so it’s up to us to filter these men out of our lives so we can live a happy and drama- free life, and find a truly fulfilling relationship! Not only that, but most importantly, we need to remain in obedience to God. Do not compromise your God- based standards, & risk losing your salvation for a guy! Putting a guy before your obedience to God’s word is not pleasing to God, because God needs to be in first place in our lives. If it’s in God’s plan, the right person is out there. And that guy will not push you to separate from God or be disobedient to Him, but he will push you to be closer. You will push each other.
Remember we need to be willing to let go of the things of the world, including toxic relationships, e.g. the players, emotionally unavailable men, etc. Important note- Not every man who says he is a Christian will act like one. Any guy who truly has a relationship with Christ, will not only agree with your God- based standards, but he will love you and respect you for them. So remember, always watch his actions and effort, that is what counts. Don’t pay attention so much to his words or excuses. Above all, have faith in God, keep doing your best & living for Him, & the right person will come. 💖
I hope you found this helpful! 🙂 God bless Xoxo